We started February off with our first camping trip of 2013. We needed to get away, clear our heads, and remind ourselves of all the things in our life to be grateful for. A forecast of mid-50’s and sunny didn’t hurt, but we were determined to make our escape no matter what.

The last month has been an emotional roller coaster. We stood by, helpless and heartbroken, as friends lost immediate family members and we mourned with them. Jim lost an uncle and his dad underwent a surgical procedure. Work for both of us was incredibly busy, making for long, exhausting days and we came home to two black dogs still learning their place in the pack. With no plans for the weekend we knew we were hitting the woods and the ocean to regenerate our spirit.

Cape Lookout State Park is an old friend of ours, having been the site of many a camping trip. Located right outside of the tiny coastal town of Netarts, it feels like another world. The  camp was nearly empty, most sites closed for the winter, but a half moon loomed overhead and the sky was alive with thousands of twinkling stars. A quick walk for the dogs followed by dinner for all around the campfire. I could already feel the stresses of the world fade away.

Saturday dawned bright and gorgeous as we took our traditional morning stroll along the beach. Lifestyle experts always tell you to imagine your perfect day and that is how mine  begins… a coffee traveler walk on the beach to greet the morning with Jim and my dogs at my side.

Cape Lookout has over 8 miles of hiking trails and we took advantage, hiking the North Trail from the campground south along the coastline. The trail winds its way through old growth forest as it gains a couple of thousand feet in slow elevation gain. To the right the waves crashed into the beach and the sun shone bright overhead. As we hiked I took the time to simply breathe. The smell of moist forest air enveloped me in familiarity as leaves and gravel crunched other my feet and I was at peace.

I was so incredibly grateful in that moment I felt weak in the knees. Jim & I spend our life trying our best to live in the moment. We admit to not being fantastic future planners and while we openly admire those around us with a great plan for retirement and financial safety nets and grand plans for “someday”, Our theory goes more along the line of living in the now and the future will unfold as we put our faith in the universe. A flawed theory, perhaps, but personal experience in watching some family members live unhappy lives while waiting for that perfect moment to change their lives and then passing away before someday came has shown us up close and personal that you can’t wait to start living..you need to live each day as though it’s your last because it may, in fact, be.

Last week merely strengthened this belief as we watched, in stunned disbelief, as some friends lost their 3year old daughter in a tragic choking accident. Zoey was an adorable, vibrant, engaging girl and lit up the world around her. We remembered our last beach trip with our beloved Maddy who got lots of love and hugs that weekend from Zoey; you can revisit it here. It was unfathomable that now they were both gone. The hurt for our friends loss was nearly overwhelming. Just two days before we’d mourned with other friends on the loss of a sibling and now the unbelievable. On the very day that the world lost Zoey, other friends found out their daughter Avery, who had been fighting cancer for five long years, had her cancer return. I was angry at the unfairness of the world. Furious that two young lives, filled with promise, were struck with disaster while so many horrible people continued to go about life as they know it. It was one of those weeks where you look for answers and none are to be found.

As happens, a few days later, fate intervened again. As we attended the memorial saying goodbye to one child, Avrey’s parents found out she was accepted for a new treatment on the East Coast that was showing great success and four other children were now cancer free. Sorrow and hope intertwined into ever conflicted emotions but also resolve. Resolve to not let a single day pass without saying I love you to the people who matter in our lives. Resolve to live consciously and in the moment EVERY day. Resolve to not wait for someday to be live the life we want to live. Resolve to say thank you each and every day for each other, our families, our friends, our health, our life.

By Saturday afternoon I felt as though some equilibrium had returned. As we watched children and dogs playing on the beach in the rare, February sunshine, I started to feel okay with the world again. Questions and doubts like we experienced in the last several weeks will never be answered. No one will ever be able to explain why things happen but this, too, is all part of this crazy ride called life.

As we joined our fellow campers on the beach at sundown, I felt peace wash over me. None of us know exactly what our tomorrow will bring but to quote Jimmy Buffet “sometimes more than ever, you know who and what and where you are” and there, in that moment, life was good and our thoughts and prayers go out to our friends in hopes that they, too, will find their peace.