BALANCE – We all search for it in our lives. The ancient Indian principles of Ayurveda focuses on finding it. In Eat,Pray,Love, Liz Gilbert travels to three continents in search for it. Most of the time, I feel relatively balanced, but the last couple of months I’ve been struggling.
I have spent hours watching mindless television, knowing I should be writing but feeling, not just blocked, but thoroughly uninspired. We celebrated my birthday, a family members wedding, and holidays, and yet nothing sparked creativity. I started to question the blog, question my writing, question if our life’s plan was workable. I had a cold with cough that lingered for weeks. Unbelievably, I even lost interest in planning and cooking for the week, quite possibly from the never ending parade of cough drops, but terrifying none-the-less!
My employer offered me a wonderful writing opportunity and, even that, set my nerves on edge. Certain I’d fail. Certain they would hate my writing. Certain they would discover I was a fraud.
I needed inspiration. I needed renewal. I needed to regain faith that I was on the right path.
Saturday we packed the camper, loaded the dogs, and headed to the beach. The weather forecast called for a mild, somewhat soggy weekend, but we could not have cared less. It had been nearly two months since we had spent a night in the camper and we were determined. We needed to escape technology, escape the television, escape to nature.
That night, sitting around the campfire in a light drizzle, whiskey in hand, a random mix of Jimmy Buffet, Zac Brown, and James Taylor on the stereo, balance began to return.It was magic. It was just as simple as that. I needed to take a long walk on a deserted beach. I needed to breath deeply, surrounded by the mist and the moss of a winter walk in Oregon. I needed the cozy comforts of our home on wheels. I needed to be surrounded by my family.
In that moment balance returned. No, I am not the best writer ever. No, the road ahead will not be a cake walk. But it is MY road ahead. I have an amazing partner, also fully committed to moving toward the life we long for. I am re-inspired to work on this blog. I am certain, with work, I can become the new voice of my company’s website. I know that the path we are on is the correct one for us and, by putting it out to the universe, it will become a reality.
The remainder of the weekend was our perfect version of my favorite Italian quote; “La Dolce far Niente”. The sweetness of doing nothing. Refreshed. Re-inspired. Ready to take on the world. I am, as my friend Sarah advocates, just going to write my heart out and let the cards fall where they may be. Balance achieved.
